I don’t usually write poetry, and when I do it tends to be doggerel (hopefully comic) like this. I wrote this years ago, but I recently saw an exchange online that reminded me of it. Hope you are amused. If you’re not, sorry. I calls ’em as I see ’em. Herewith, “Song of a Thread.”:

Peace reigns upon the online sea
And all is copacetic,
For on the forum all agree,
Each poster thoughtfully says “B”
When they respond to the OP,
Some gaily and some solemnly
Some off-hand, some emphatic.

Yes, “B” says One
And “B” says Two
And “B” says Three and Four,
And “B” says Five
And “B” says Six,
Who knows how many more
Would’ve anted up their B
If Seven hadn’t wrecked the thread,
Gone on a wicked trolling spree
By coolly and deliberately
Posting a “C” instead.

Most are stunned by Seven’s gall
Some lurkers turn and flee
The errant “C” has cast a pall
That baffles posters, big and small,
Till Five, the bravest of them all
Steps in, and standing firm and tall
Replies, “No, Seven. B.”

Yes, “B” says One
And “B” says Two
And “B” says Three and Four,
And “B” says Five
And “B” says Six,
Nobody has before
In cold blood dared to disagree
And worse, then offered the reply
To Five’s polite correction mild,
An answer, brutal, mad and wild:
“No, I say C. Here’s why…”

Is Seven crazed, or just plain mean?
Some caution, “Wait and see.
As of yet, we just don’t know
If Seven’s deaf, or maybe slow
Let’s band together. That will show
Her that the answer’s ‘B.’”

So, “B” cries One
And “B” cries Two
And “B” cries Three and Four,
And “B” cries Five
And “B” cries Six,
In a united roar,
They all affirm the blessed B.
Surely that will penetrate
The skulls of any fools who prate
Of other letters, and they wait,
Only to hear. “No. C.”

Eyes narrow. Something’s going on.
Why does Seven insist
On answering? The lines are drawn,
So why does Seven not desist,
When other posters all persist,
With comments she could not have missed,
All saying that she’s wrong?

“It’s B” shouts One
“It’s B” shouts Two
“It’s B” shouts Three and Four,
“It’s B” shouts Five
“It’s B” shouts Six,
Who adds “and furthermore,
I think I’ve stumbled on the key.
On careful reading,” Six opines,
“The awful, hidden meaning shines
From out between your written lines,
You’re really saying…G!”

At last the truth is running free,
Now that it’s been revealed.
That Seven has, with wicked glee,
Tried to wreck the board’s esprit
de Corps not just denying “B”
But trying sneakily to shield
A “G” behind a “C.”

“Not G!” cries One
“Not G!” cries Two
“Not G!” cries Three and Floor,
“Not G!” cries Five
“Not G!” cries Six,
All join in to deplore
Extremism, foully, wickedly
Ignoring every patient plea.
Seven’s exposed for all to see
And plainly must be shown the door —
A G’ist saying “G!”

Peace reigns upon the online sea
And all is copacetic,
For on the forum all agree,
Each poster thoughtfully says “B”
When they respond to the OP,
Some gaily and some solemnly
Some off-hand, some emphatic.